


expressions of truth

by smartbuckley



Series: Buddie Tumblr Prompts [8]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Original Male Character - Freeform, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Rejection, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-15
Updated: 2019-11-15
Packaged: 2021-01-31 00:38:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21437329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartbuckley/pseuds/smartbuckley
Summary: From the tumblr prompt:Buddie Prompt: Eddie and Buck have been dancing around their feelings for ages, Buck being the one to make the first move but Eddie freaking out on him so nothing else happened. It’s pointed out to Eddie that buck won’t wait around forever and if Eddie doesn’t figure his shit out, someone else will move in on Buck and snatch him up and treat him right. Eddie still is scared and it’s not until another guy expresses his interest in Buck that Eddie acts
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Series: Buddie Tumblr Prompts [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1528010
Comments: 14
Kudos: 303





	expressions of truth

“I wanted to move on, Eddie,” Buck whispers with wide eyes as his hands curl into fists at his side. The sky above them rumbles with the low octaves of thunder, low clouds ominous in the sky as Buck looks up at Eddie, panting, unsure if it’s because he’s angry at Eddie for choosing  _ now _ of all times to come up to Buck and tell him he made a mistake, or if it’s because he’s  _ excited _ at the fact that Eddie came here to tell him that he had made a mistake. Almost six months ago, Buck had gone to Eddie with his heart on his sleeve,  _ literally _ and told Eddie that he was in love with him, only to have his heart crushed when Eddie had shaken his head and told him he didn’t feel the same way.

Buck had been truly crushed, having believed that Eddie had felt the same way, having thought that he had seen the signs correctly, and Eddie had -- it wasn’t something he liked to think about, Buck thinks, his heart pounding inside his chest, hand coming up to rub at it. After admitting his feelings and being rejected, the two had distanced themselves from one another -- Buck wasn’t sure who distanced themselves first, but they did, and Buck hated it.

Absolutely hated it.

But he also knew that if he wanted to move on from Eddie, wanted to just think of him as a friend, he needed to become distant from the older man. And every morning, Buck found it impossible to do, but he  _ tried _ , and he continued trying -- even if it killed him to think about Eddie, and Christopher, and Eddie  _ and _ Christopher, together, because he had thought they were becoming a family.

But he had been wrong, and no matter how much time had passed, it continued to hurt him. He still talked to Christopher often, not wanting the little man to feel abandoned, though it was never with Eddie around, because that just continued to hurt. 

So much.

But he had slowly been moving on. First it was letting people flirt with him - men and women. Then it was flirting back with them, even if he knew nothing was going to happen for a while. But then a month ago, Buck had met someone and had flirted back and --

He had been asked out. And he had said yes. He needed to move on, no matter how hard it was to do so, so he had taken that first step and said yes to a date.

That had been one month ago, and slowly, very slowly, Buck found his heart healing, even though he missed Eddie like nothing he’s ever missed before. He knew that this was necessary though, and he continued to go on dates with the man because ---

Well, even if he knew he was in love with Eddie, he could see himself falling for Colin.

But then Eddie had been acting even more off the past two weeks - ever since the team had been introduced to Colin and Buck just didn’t understand  _ why _ .

But Buck had ignored it, because he was trying to move on. And he truly believed he was close to moving on. 

And then today had happened.

Buck had mentioned Colin and their dates, and how happy he was the past month, and Eddie had -- had reacted in a way that absolutely confused the hell out of Buck. And Buck had searched for the older man, wondering what the  _ hell _ was going on with Eddie, because nothing was making sense, and Buck didn’t understand, and he just wanted things to go back to normal already, god damn it.

So Buck had gotten Eddie alone, his mind betraying him for a quick few moments before he asked Eddie what the hell his problem was and Eddie -- Eddie ---

“I’ve been  _ trying _ to move on, Eddie. You turned me down, you said you didn’t feel the same way, that I was only your --”

“I lied.” Eddie interrupts and Buck sucks back a breath, takes a step back in disbelief as his eyes widen again and --

“What?” He asks as his heart pounds, confusion coursing through him. For the past six months, he’s been heartbroken and hurt, trying to move on from Eddie and be happy again, all because Eddie turned him down.

“I lied. Damn it, Buck, I found you attractive the moment I met you. And then I got to know you and everything just… grew. Exponentially. And eventually I was hugely in love with you. But I was also  _ terrified _ , man.” Eddie states and Buck -- Buck can’t help but wonder if his heart had stopped. It certainly feels like it had stopped, if only because he truly can’t believe that Eddie would even say he had been in love with Buck, and then --

“Why would you lie about something like that?” Buck questions with a frown, folding his arms in front of his chest as he feels insecure, wondering if maybe he wasn’t enough. His thoughts continue to run wild before the pressure of Eddie’s hand on his shoulder causes his mind to come to a grinding stop, throat becoming dry.

“Because I was  _ scared _ , Buck. I had never fallen for someone as fast as I had for you, and I was still with Shannon.” Eddie begins with a small frown on his own face as Buck shifts, not sure how to feel. “And then you had come to me, told me you were in love with me, and wanted to try out something more than being friends, and I completely panicked, thinking about all of the insecurities I had after the previous year and I just --”

Eddie stops, breathing, as fingers run through his hair and he lets out a slow breath, counting inside of his head so he doesn’t completely panic.

“I should’ve told you the truth, should’ve told you I needed time to get better, instead of just panicking. But I didn’t, and then we started to distance ourselves from one another and then you were dating. But none of them  _ stuck _ .” Eddie finishes with a shrug and a small scoff.

“But then Colin stuck,” Buck whispers in awe as Eddie nods.

“And I just became  _ insanely _ jealous, because I thought I had more time to grow a pair and admit the truth,” Eddie responds with another chuckle, shrugging his shoulders while Buck steps forward. His heart might be pounding inside his chest again, but knowing now that Eddie has felt the same way --

“So you don’t want me to get over you?” He asks quietly, looking at Eddie with wide eyes as Eddie looks back up at him.

“No. I want you to go out on dates with me, to spend nights with me, to ---” Buck surges forward, his hands grabbing Eddie’s neck and bringing him closer, kissing Eddie. He feels a moment of panic when Eddie doesn’t respond, but after what feels like an eternity, but is only seconds, and the kiss -- god, the kiss is heavenly, Buck thinks, a moan slipping free as he tries to press even closer to the older man, forgetting that they are still very much outside of the fire station, where Buck was waiting for Colin, and their date. He can feel Eddie’s hands roaming his body and a rather large part of him begins to feel lost in the touch, his tongue battling with Eddie’s while his body begins to shake from the cold air and something a little more.

Breaking away, panting, Buck looks at Eddie with wide eyes, water falling down his face. Briefly, he wonders when it started to rain before he focuses back on Eddie with a soft smile. 

“So uh, you were jealous? The entire time?” Buck asks with a small laugh while Eddie laughs himself, looking down momentarily before nodding his head.

“I suppose so, yeah. But that’s only because I was an idiot. So uh, are you willing to go out with me?” Eddie asks, stepping forward and placing his hand against Buck’s cheek, another rumble of thunder going off in the distance while Buck grins and nods.

“Of course. I’d love to. But uh, let me break up with Colin first, okay?” He asks with a chuckle, before jumping when he hears coughing from behind him. Turning, he’s surprised to see the entire team standing their in various poses, smirking as his cheeks turn red.

“I don’t think you have to worry about that, Buckaroo. Colin was here and gone during your uh, makeout session,” Hen chuckles while Buck groans and Eddie snorts.

“Well, I guess you don’t have to worry about him anymore,” Eddie adds with a small smirk while the rest of the team laughs and shakes their head.

“Eddie, I stopped worrying about Colin the moment you said you were in love with me,” Buck admits with a laugh before moving forward and kissing the man once more, happily in love.

**Author's Note:**

> This wasn't easy for me to write, not going to lie. I must have re-started it a bunch of times, and I'm still not super happy with it, but I hope you guys like it nonetheless. Come find me on my [tumblr](https://smartbuckley.tumblr.com) if you want to talk. Comments and concrit is ♥


End file.
